Need a short line for a classroom card or a joke to read at home? This page has 141
Valentine's Day jokes for kids, including animal puns, food jokes, hearts, and love.
Use the links below to skip to a favorite topic. The knock-knock section is written for
two people, while the other sections work as card messages or quick one-liners.
Animal Valentine's Day Jokes
Q: What do you call two birds in love? A: Tweethearts!
Q: What did the octopus say to his Valentine? A: I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, and hand!
Q: What did the elephant say to his Valentine? A: I love you tons!
Q: What did the owl say to his Valentine? A: Owl be yours!
Q: What did the sheep say to the other sheep? A: I love ewe!
Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? A: Yes, they're very scent-imental!
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: Why did the fish blush? A: It saw its Valentine's fin-tastic smile!
Q: What did one bee say to the other? A: I love bee-ing with you, honey!
Q: What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day? A: Don't ever change, you're purr-fect.
Q: What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel on Valentine's Day? A: I'm nuts about you!
Q: Why was the rabbit happy? A: Because somebunny loved him!
Q: What do you say to a spider on Valentine's Day? A: I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
Q: What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine's Day? A: Whale you be mine?
Q: What did the kitten say on Valentine's Day? A: You're purr-fect.
Food Valentine's Day Jokes
Q: Why are artichokes the most loving vegetable? A: Because they've got hearts.
Q: What's the best meal to serve on Valentine's Day? A: A hearty one.
Q: What did the hamburger buy his sweetheart? A: An onion ring.
Q: When should you ask someone out on a coffee date? A: When you like them a latte.
Q: Where do hamburgers take their dates on Valentine's Day? A: The meat ball.
Q: How do chefs show their love on Valentine's Day? A: They whisk you off your feet!
Q: What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine's Day? A: A hug and a quiche.
Q: What Valentine's Day candy is only for girls? A: HER-SHE's Kisses.
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune? A: Because it couldn't find a date.
Q: What did the hamburger say to the pickle? A: You're the dill of my dreams.
Q: What do you say to a donut on Valentine's Day? A: I'm donuts about you!
Q: What did the cupcake say to its sweetheart? A: You make life sweet.
Q: Why did the orange go out with the apple? A: Because it couldn't peel its love for them!
Q: What did the piece of toast say to the other? A: You're my butter half!
Q: What did one taco say to the other on Valentine's Day? A: Let's taco 'bout how much I love you!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the party alone? A: Because it didn't have a sweet-heart.
Q: What did the spaghetti say to the meatball on Valentine's Day? A: You're pasta-tively amazing!
Q: How did the cucumber propose to the pickle? A: With a ring of onion.
Q: What kind of candy is never on time? A: ChocoLATE.
Q: What did the cook say to his girlfriend? A: You're bacon me crazy!
Q: What did one pie say to the other? A: Pie like you berry much.
Q: What did the cucumber say to his friend? A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine's Day? A: Cauliflower!
Q: What did the raspberry say to his Valentine? A: I love you berry much.
Q: What's the most romantic utensil? A: A fork because it has Valen-tines.
Q: What did the graham cracker say to the marshmallow? A: I love you s'more and s'more each day.
"What Did the Blank Say to Its Valentine?" Jokes
Q: What did the calculator say to its Valentine? A: You can count on me.
Q: What did the cat say to its Valentine? A: You're purr-fect for me.
Q: What did the bird say to its Valentine? A: Let me call you tweet-heart!
Q: What did the pickle say to its Valentine? A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: What did the puzzle say to its Valentine? A: You complete me.
Q: What did the drum say to its Valentine? A: My heart beats for you.
Q: What did the rabbit say to its Valentine? A: Somebunny loves you!
Q: What did the bat say to its Valentine? A: You're fun to hang around with.
Q: What did the bee say to its Valentine? A: You are bee-autiful!
Q: What did the ghost say to its Valentine? A: You look so BOO-tiful.
Q: What did the snake say to its Valentine? A: Give me a hug and a hiss, honey.
Q: What did the frog say to its Valentine? A: You are toad-ally awesome!
Q: What did the fish say to its Valentine? A: You're the fin-est.
Q: What did the duck say to its Valentine? A: I'm quackers about you.
Q: What did the chicken say to its Valentine? A: You're egg-cellent.
Q: What did the turkey say to its Valentine? A: You're the stuffing to my turkey.
Q: What did the dog say to its Valentine? A: You're paws-itively the best.
Q: What did the lightbulb say to its Valentine? A: I love you a whole watt!
Q: What did the gardener say to their Valentine? A: I dig you.
Q: What did the deer say to its Valentine? A: I love you deerly.
Q: What did the cow say to its Valentine? A: I'm udderly in love with you.
Q: What did the pig say to its Valentine? A: Don't go bacon my heart.
Q: What did the horse say to its Valentine? A: I love you neigh-ver ending.
Q: What did the bear say to its Valentine? A: I love you beary much.
Q: What did the painter say to her sweetheart? A: I love you with all my art.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? A: I'm stuck on you!
Q: What did one volcano say to the other? A: I lava you!
Q: What did one lightbulb say to the other on Valentine's Day? A: I love you watts and watts.
Q: What did the tree say to the houseplant? A: Do you beleaf in love?
Q: What did the refrigerator say to the magnet? A: I find you very attractive.
Q: What did the dustpan say to the broom? A: You sweep me off my feet!
Q: What did the doorknob write to his love in their Valentine's Day card? A: I adoor you!
Q: What did the needle say to the thread? A: You're sew special to me.
Q: What did one oar say to another? A: Can I interest you in a little row-mance?
Q: What did the street performer say to his sweetheart on Valentine's Day? A: Be mime!
Q: What did the scientist say to his sweetheart? A: We've got good chemistry.
Q: What did the magnet say to the paperclip? A: I find you very attractive.
Valentine's Day Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut ever let me go.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like a big kiss?