Need a joke for a lunchbox, classroom party, or trick-or-treat break? These Halloween
jokes for kids are spooky enough for October without being scary.
The 63 clean jokes are grouped by topic, so you can skip straight to ghosts and
skeletons, monsters and mummies, witches and trick-or-treating, or vampires and werewolves.
Ghost and Skeleton Jokes
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? A: He had no body to go with!
Q: Why do ghosts make great cheerleaders? A: They have lots of spirit.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a ghost? A: Wrinkled sheets.
Q: Why is it good to tell ghost stories in hot weather? A: Because they are so chilling.
Q: Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you? A: The living room.
Q: Why should a skeleton drink lots of milk? A: It’s good for the bones.
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest? A: No body.
Q: What do skeletons say before they start to eat? A: “Bone appétit!”
Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A: To a day-scare center.
Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert? A: Ice scream.
Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? A: Boo boos.
Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A: Bamboo.
Q: What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty? A: Ghoul-Aid.
Q: When do ghosts usually appear? A: Just before someone screams.
Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch? A: A boo-logna sandwich.
Q: What should you do when you find a ghost in your living room? A: Offer him a sheet.
Q: What should you do with overweight ghosts? A: Exorcize them.
Q: How do ghosts get to school in the morning? A: They take a ghoul bus.
Q: What do ghost babies wear on their feet? A: Boo-tees!
Q: Why did the little skeleton feel left out? A: He had no body to play with.
Monster, Mummy, and Zombie Jokes
Q: What kind of monster loves to dance? A: The boogieman.
Q: What’s a monster’s favorite snack? A: Ghoul scout cookies.
Q: Did you hear about the monster with eight arms? A: He said they came in handy.
Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up on the payments to his exorcist? A: He was re-possessed.
Q: Where do zombies go for a swim? A: The Dead Sea.
Q: Why can you tell mummies secrets? A: They’re good at keeping things under wraps.
Q: How do you get to a monster’s house? A: Take a fright at the dead end.
Q: Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles? A: Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: What’s a monster’s favorite play? A: Romeo and Ghouliet.
Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day? A: So they can fight knights.
Q: What do you do with a green monster? A: Wait until he ripens.
Q: What do you do with a blue monster? A: Try to cheer him up.
Q: Why don’t monsters eat clowns? A: They taste funny.
Q: What do you call a giant monster who lives in the ocean and makes loud noises when he drinks? A: A sea slurpant.
Q: What giant monster lives in the mountains and hems men’s suits? A: The abominable sew-man.
Q: Why don’t abominable snowmen ever marry? A: They always get cold feet.
Witch, Pumpkin, and Trick-or-Treat Jokes
Q: What do squirrels say on Halloween? A: “Trick or tree.”
Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween? A: “Twick or tweet.”
Q: What do diplomats say on Halloween? A: “Trick or treaty.”
Q: How do you make a witch itch? A: Take away her W.
Q: What do witches put in their hair? A: Scare spray.
Q: What do you call a haunted chicken? A: A poultry-geist.
Q: What would you find on a haunted beach? A: A sand witch.
Q: What would you get if you crossed a Spaniel, a French poodle, a ghost, and a rooster? A: A cocker-poodle-boo!
Q: How do you make a strawberry shake? A: Sneak up behind it and yell “BOO!”
Q: What do you call an overweight pumpkin? A: A plumpkin.
Q: What do you call a witch who loves the beach but won’t go in the water? A: A chicken sand-witch.
Q: What do you call a nervous witch? A: A twitch.
Q: Why couldn’t the young witch find a job? A: She didn’t have enough hex-perience.
Vampire and Werewolf Jokes
Q: What has wings, feathers, and fangs? A: Count Duckula.
Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania? A: The Vampire State Building.
Q: What is Transylvania? A: Dracula’s terror-tory.
Q: Where does Dracula water ski? A: On Lake Eerie.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday? A: Fangsgiving.
Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A: It’s a pain in the neck.
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have? A: A bloodhound.
Q: Where does Count Dracula wash his hair? A: In the bat tub.
Q: Why did Count Dracula see his doctor? A: He was always coffin.
Q: Why did the vampire run screaming out of the restaurant? A: He found out it was a stake house.
Q: Where do you store a werewolf? A: In a were-house.
Q: What kind of fur do you get from a werewolf? A: As fur away as possible.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite.