What did the octopus say to his Valentine?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, and hand!

Funny Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids

Sweet Puns, Silly One-Liners & Heartfelt Humor

Welcome to our complete collection of Valentine's Day jokes for kids! Whether you're looking for sweet puns to write in Valentine's cards, funny one-liners for classroom exchanges, or silly jokes to share at family dinner, we've got you covered. Our carefully curated collection features over 100 clean, family-friendly Valentine's Day jokes that kids of all ages will love.

Valentine's Day jokes are perfect for helping children celebrate this special holiday with laughter and joy. These jokes introduce wordplay, puns, and creative thinking while keeping the spirit of love and friendship alive. From adorable animal puns to clever food jokes, knock-knock jokes to heartfelt one-liners, there's something here for every young comedian.

Animal Valentine's Day Jokes - Fun and Furry Laughs

Kids absolutely love animal-themed Valentine's Day jokes because they combine favorite creatures with playful wordplay. These jokes are perfect for young learners who enjoy silly animal sounds and characteristics turned into loving messages.

Q: What do you call two birds in love?
A: Tweethearts!
Q: What did the octopus say to his Valentine?
A: I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, and hand!
Q: What did the elephant say to his Valentine?
A: I love you tons!
Q: What did the owl say to his Valentine?
A: Owl be yours!
Q: What did the sheep say to the other sheep?
A: I love ewe!
Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: Yes, they're very scent-imental!
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: It saw its Valentine's fin-tastic smile!
Q: What did one bee say to the other?
A: I love bee-ing with you, honey!
Q: What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day?
A: Don't ever change, you're purr-fect.
Q: What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel on Valentine's Day?
A: I'm nuts about you!
Q: Why was the rabbit happy?
A: Because somebunny loved him!
Q: What do you say to a spider on Valentine's Day?
A: I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
Q: What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine's Day?
A: Whale you be mine?
Q: What did the kitten say on Valentine's Day?
A: You're purr-fect.

Food Valentine's Day Jokes - Sweet and Silly Treats

Food jokes turn everyday snacks and meals into lovable characters with sweet messages. These puns are especially popular with young children who enjoy seeing familiar foods in funny new ways.

Q: Why are artichokes the most loving vegetable?
A: Because they've got hearts.
Q: What's the best meal to serve on Valentine's Day?
A: A hearty one.
Q: What did the hamburger buy his sweetheart?
A: An onion ring.
Q: When should you ask someone out on a coffee date?
A: When you like them a latte.
Q: Where do hamburgers take their dates on Valentine's Day?
A: The meat ball.
Q: How do chefs show their love on Valentine's Day?
A: They whisk you off your feet!
Q: What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine's Day?
A: A hug and a quiche.
Q: What Valentine's Day candy is only for girls?
A: HER-SHE's Kisses.
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't find a date.
Q: What did the hamburger say to the pickle?
A: You're the dill of my dreams.
Q: What do you say to a donut on Valentine's Day?
A: I'm donuts about you!
Q: What did the cupcake say to its sweetheart?
A: You make life sweet.
Q: Why did the orange go out with the apple?
A: Because it couldn't peel its love for them!
Q: What did the piece of toast say to the other?
A: You're my butter half!
Q: What did one taco say to the other on Valentine's Day?
A: Let's taco 'bout how much I love you!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the party alone?
A: Because it didn't have a sweet-heart.
Q: What did the spaghetti say to the meatball on Valentine's Day?
A: You're pasta-tively amazing!
Q: How did the cucumber propose to the pickle?
A: With a ring of onion.
Q: What kind of candy is never on time?
A: ChocoLATE.
Q: What did the cook say to his girlfriend?
A: You're bacon me crazy!
Q: What did one pie say to the other?
A: Pie like you berry much.
Q: What did the cucumber say to his friend?
A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine's Day?
A: Cauliflower!
Q: What did the raspberry say to his Valentine?
A: I love you berry much.
Q: What's the most romantic utensil?
A: A fork because it has Valen-tines.
Q: What did the graham cracker say to the marshmallow?
A: I love you s'more and s'more each day.

"What Did the Blank Say to Its Valentine?" Jokes

This classic joke format is beloved by children because it's easy to remember and share. The predictable structure helps kids follow along while the creative punchlines spark imagination and laughter.

Q: What did the calculator say to its Valentine?
A: You can count on me.
Q: What did the cat say to its Valentine?
A: You're purr-fect for me.
Q: What did the bird say to its Valentine?
A: Let me call you tweet-heart!
Q: What did the pickle say to its Valentine?
A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: What did the puzzle say to its Valentine?
A: You complete me.
Q: What did the drum say to its Valentine?
A: My heart beats for you.
Q: What did the rabbit say to its Valentine?
A: Somebunny loves you!
Q: What did the bat say to its Valentine?
A: You're fun to hang around with.
Q: What did the bee say to its Valentine?
A: You are bee-autiful!
Q: What did the ghost say to its Valentine?
A: You look so BOO-tiful.
Q: What did the snake say to its Valentine?
A: Give me a hug and a hiss, honey.
Q: What did the frog say to its Valentine?
A: You are toad-ally awesome!
Q: What did the fish say to its Valentine?
A: You're the fin-est.
Q: What did the duck say to its Valentine?
A: I'm quackers about you.
Q: What did the chicken say to its Valentine?
A: You're egg-cellent.
Q: What did the turkey say to its Valentine?
A: You're the stuffing to my turkey.
Q: What did the dog say to its Valentine?
A: You're paws-itively the best.
Q: What did the lightbulb say to its Valentine?
A: I love you a whole watt!
Q: What did the gardener say to their Valentine?
A: I dig you.
Q: What did the deer say to its Valentine?
A: I love you deerly.
Q: What did the cow say to its Valentine?
A: I'm udderly in love with you.
Q: What did the pig say to its Valentine?
A: Don't go bacon my heart.
Q: What did the horse say to its Valentine?
A: I love you neigh-ver ending.
Q: What did the bear say to its Valentine?
A: I love you beary much.
Q: What did the painter say to her sweetheart?
A: I love you with all my art.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
A: I'm stuck on you!
Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you!
Q: What did one lightbulb say to the other on Valentine's Day?
A: I love you watts and watts.
Q: What did the tree say to the houseplant?
A: Do you beleaf in love?
Q: What did the refrigerator say to the magnet?
A: I find you very attractive.
Q: What did the dustpan say to the broom?
A: You sweep me off my feet!
Q: What did the doorknob write to his love in their Valentine's Day card?
A: I adoor you!
Q: What did the needle say to the thread?
A: You're sew special to me.
Q: What did one oar say to another?
A: Can I interest you in a little row-mance?
Q: What did the street performer say to his sweetheart on Valentine's Day?
A: Be mime!
Q: What did the scientist say to his sweetheart?
A: We've got good chemistry.
Q: What did the magnet say to the paperclip?
A: I find you very attractive.

Valentine's Day Knock Knock Jokes for Kids

Knock knock jokes are timeless classics that kids love because of their simple, interactive format. These Valentine's Day versions add a sweet romantic twist that's perfect for the holiday.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut ever let me go.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like a big kiss?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you know how much I love you?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Don.
Don who?
Don go breaking my heart.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pauline.
Pauline who?
I think I'm Pauline in love with you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Atlas.
Atlas who?
Atlas, it's Valentine's Day!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby Valentine's Day!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eye.
Eye who?
Eye want to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Iguana.
Iguana who?
Iguana hold your hand.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Loves.
Loves who?
Loves you!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Valentine's Day?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fangs.
Fangs who?
Fangs for being my Valentine.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas be my Valentine!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!

Valentine's Day Jokes About Hearts and Love

These jokes focus on the symbols and themes of Valentine's Day itself, from hearts to love arrows to romantic dates. They're perfect for kids who want to celebrate the holiday's special meaning.

Q: What's red on the outside and has you on the inside?
A: My heart!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: His heart wasn't in it.
Q: Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?
A: He stole her heart.
Q: Why is Valentine's Day a good day for a party?
A: Because you can really party hearty!
Q: What shade of red is your heart?
A: Beat red!
Q: What are artichokes known for?
A: Their hearts.
Q: What flower gives the most kisses on Valentine's Day?
A: Tulips (two-lips).
Q: Who always has a date on Valentine's Day?
A: A calendar.
Q: Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?
A: Yes, February 14th!
Q: Why couldn't the calendar work late on Valentine's Day?
A: He had a date.
Q: What did the man say after Cupid hit him with a love arrow?
A: Ow!
Q: Which one of Santa's reindeer can be seen on Valentine's Day?
A: Cupid.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: What do you call a ghost's true love?
A: Their ghoul-friend.
Q: What fastens two people yet touches only one?
A: A wedding ring.
Q: How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: Why would you want to marry a goalie?
A: Because he or she is a real keeper!
Q: What shape is most popular on Valentine's Day?
A: A-cute triangle.
Q: Why couldn't the two shooting stars spend Valentine's Day together?
A: It simply wasn't meant to be—they were star-crossed lovers.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A: You get buttered up.
Q: What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium?
A: Guppy love.
Q: Why don't you ever date a tennis player?
A: Because love means nothing to them.
Q: Why did the boy stand on a ladder during Valentine's Day?
A: Because he heard love was in the air!
Q: What did one boat say to the other boat?
A: Are you interested in a little row-mance?
Q: Why is it good to date soccer players?
A: Because they're keepers.

Funny Valentine's Day Puns for Kids

These clever puns showcase wordplay at its finest, combining Valentine's Day themes with unexpected twists. Perfect for kids who love language and creative humor.

Q: What did one Jedi say to the other on Valentine's Day?
A: Yoda one for me!
Q: What do you write in a Valentine's Day card for a slug?
A: Be my valen-slime!
Q: What did Frankenstein's monster say to his bride on Valentine's Day?
A: Be my valen-stein!
Q: What do you call the world's smallest Valentine's Day card?
A: A valen-tiny.
Q: What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A: Hogs and kisses.
Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A: Ughs and kisses!
Q: What did Robin Hood say to his girlfriend?
A: Sherwood like to be your Valentine.
Q: Why are flowers popular on Valentine's Day?
A: Because they're scent-imental!
Q: What do you call sweets that can keep a beat?
A: Candy rappers.
Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: I find you very attractive.
Q: What did the train say to his Valentine?
A: I choo-choo-choose you!
Q: What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine?
A: I have a crutch on you.
Q: How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine's Day?
A: You locket.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.

Additional Valentine's Day Jokes for the Whole Family

Here's an extra collection of Valentine's Day jokes that add even more variety to your celebration. These jokes cover everything from silly situations to clever observations about the holiday.

Q: What's the best part about Valentine's Day?
A: The day after when all the candy is on sale.
Q: What type of shape is most popular on Valentine's Day?
A: Acute triangle.
Q: What did the scientist say to their sweetheart?
A: You must be made out of oxygen and neon because you are the ONe.
Q: What Valentine's message was on the honeycomb?
A: Bee mine.
Q: What do girl snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
A: With love and hisses.
Q: What's the most romantic utensil?
A: A fork because it has Valen-tines.
Q: What kind of flowers should you NOT give on Valentine's Day?
A: Cauliflowers!
Q: What do you give your Valentine in France?
A: A big quiche.

Looking for more? Check out the kids' joke books at our shop! Each purchase helps support our site through affiliate partnerships.

Why Valentine's Day Jokes Are Great for Kids

Valentine's Day jokes offer more than just laughs—they're an excellent educational tool that helps children develop important skills while celebrating love and friendship.
Language Development: These jokes introduce children to puns, homophones, and wordplay, building vocabulary and understanding of how language works in creative ways.
Social Skills: Sharing jokes helps kids practice social interaction, timing, and reading their audience. Valentine's Day jokes specifically teach them how to express affection and appreciation through humor.
Memory and Recall: Memorizing jokes strengthens memory skills and gives children confidence in their ability to entertain others and participate in social situations.
Reading Comprehension: Understanding the setup and punchline of jokes requires children to process information, recognize patterns, and make connections—all crucial reading skills.
Cultural Understanding: Valentine's Day jokes help children understand holiday traditions and the importance of showing appreciation for friends and family members.
Creativity and Play: These jokes encourage imaginative thinking and show kids how to play with words and ideas in fun, unexpected ways.

Tips for Using Valentine's Day Jokes with Kids

Make the most of these Valentine's Day jokes with these helpful suggestions:

Valentine's Cards: Write jokes inside homemade or store-bought Valentine's cards for classmates, teachers, or family members. Kids love giving and receiving cards with personalized humor.
Lunchbox Notes: Surprise your child with a Valentine's Day joke tucked into their lunch. It's a sweet way to show you're thinking of them during the school day.
Classroom Activities: Teachers can use these jokes for morning meetings, brain breaks, or as rewards for good behavior during the Valentine's Day celebration.
Family Time: Share jokes at dinner or during car rides. Take turns reading them aloud and see who can deliver the best punchline with perfect comedic timing.
Party Games: Create a Valentine's Day joke contest or scavenger hunt where kids collect jokes as they complete activities.
Memory Practice: Challenge kids to memorize their three favorite jokes to share with friends and family. This builds confidence and public speaking skills.
Creative Writing: Encourage older kids to create their own Valentine's Day jokes using the patterns they see in this collection.

Making Valentine's Day Special with Laughter

Valentine's Day is about more than candy hearts and chocolate—it's about spreading joy, showing appreciation, and celebrating the people we care about. These Valentine's Day jokes for kids provide a perfect way to add laughter to the celebration while keeping everything age-appropriate and family-friendly.

Whether your children are preschoolers giggling at simple animal puns or elementary students crafting clever wordplay, these jokes offer something for every age and sense of humor. The best part? They're completely free to use, share, and enjoy as many times as you like.

So print out your favorites, write them in cards, practice delivery with silly voices, or simply enjoy reading them together as a family. However you choose to use these Valentine's Day jokes for kids, you're sure to create sweet memories filled with love and laughter.

Happy Valentine's Day from all of us! May your day be filled with giggles, joy, and plenty of punny fun!

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