Get ready for some spooky giggles and ghostly guffaws!
Our Halloween joke collection is packed with monster mash-ups,
eerie puns, and just the right amount of frightful fun to keep kids
howling with laughter. Perfect for Halloween parties, trick-or-treat
nights, or just adding a little extra boo to your day!
Q: What has wings, feathers, and fangs?
A: Count Duckula.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
A: He had no body to go with!
Q: Why do ghosts make great cheerleaders?
A: They have lots of spirit.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a ghost?
A: Wrinkled sheets.
Q: What kind of monster loves to dance?
A: The boogieman.
Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building.
Q: Why is it good to tell ghost stories in hot weather?
A: Because they are so chilling.
Q: What do squirrels say on Halloween?
A: “Trick or tree.”
Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
A: “Twick or tweet.”
Q: What do diplomats say on Halloween?
A: “Trick or treaty.”
Q: Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A: The living room.
Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her W.
Q: What’s a monster’s favorite snack?
A: Ghoul scout cookies.
Q: Did you hear about the monster with eight arms?
A: He said they came in handy.
Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up on the payments to his exorcist?
A: He was re-possessed.
Q: What is Transylvania?
A: Dracula’s terror-tory.
Q: Why should a skeleton drink lots of milk?
A: It’s good for the bones.
Q: Where do zombies go for a swim?
A: The Dead Sea.
Q: Why can you tell mummies secrets?
A: They’re good at keeping things under wraps.
Q: How do you get to a monster’s house?
A: Take a fright at the dead end.
Q: Where does Dracula water ski?
A: On Lake Eerie.
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.
Q: What do skeletons say before they start to eat?
A: “Bone appétit!”
Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: To a day-scare center.
Q: Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
A: Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice scream.
Q: What do witches put in their hair?
A: Scare spray.
Q: What do you call a haunted chicken?
A: A poultry-geist.
Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo boos.
Q: What’s a monster’s favorite play?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet.
Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.
Q: What would you find on a haunted beach?
A: A sand witch.
Q: What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty?
A: Ghoul-Aid.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving.
Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.
Q: What would you get if you crossed a Spaniel, a French poodle, a ghost, and a rooster?
A: A cocker-poodle-boo!
Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
A: Just before someone screams.
Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
A: So they can fight knights.
Q: How do you make a strawberry shake?
A: Sneak up behind it and yell “BOO!”
Q: What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound.
Q: Where does Count Dracula wash his hair?
A: In the bat tub.
Q: Why did Count Dracula see his doctor?
A: He was always coffin.
Q: Why did the vampire run screaming out of the restaurant?
A: He found out it was a stake house.
Q: Where do you store a werewolf?
A: In a were-house.
Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A: A boo-logna sandwich.
Q: What kind of fur do you get from a werewolf?
A: As fur away as possible.
Q: What should you do when you find a ghost in your living room?
A: Offer him a sheet.
Q: What should you do with overweight ghosts?
A: Exorcize them.
Q: How do ghosts get to school in the morning?
A: They take a ghoul bus.
Q: What do you call a witch who loves the beach but won’t go in the water?
A: A chicken sand-witch.
Q: What do you do with a green monster?
A: Wait until he ripens.
Q: What do you do with a blue monster?
A: Try to cheer him up.
Q: Why don’t monsters eat clowns?
A: They taste funny.
Q: What do ghost babies wear on their feet?
A: Boo-tees!
Q: What do you call a nervous witch?
A: A twitch.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What do you call a giant monster who lives in the ocean and makes loud noises when he drinks?
A: A sea slurpant.
Q: What giant monster lives in the mountains and hems men’s suits?
A: The abominable sew-man.
Q: Why don’t abominable snowmen ever marry?
A: They always get cold feet.
Q: Why couldn’t the young witch find a job?
A: She didn’t have enough hex-perience.
Q: Why did the little skeleton feel left out?
A: He had no body to play with.