Looking for a clever twist on classic humor?
This collection brings the perfect blend of wit and whimsy
to entertain tweens, spark conversations,
and inspire plenty of good-natured chuckles along the way.
Q: Why did the smartphone need glasses?
A: It lost all its contacts!
Q: Why did the gym close down?
A: It just didn’t work out!
Q: How do you make an egg laugh?
A: Tell it a yolk!
Q: What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
A: Pointless!
Q: Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
A: He couldn’t see himself doing it!
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: "Between us, something smells!"
Q: Why can’t you trust stairs?
A: They’re always up to something!
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A: "Supplies!"
Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
A: Because all the fans left!
Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick!
Q: Why was the robot tired when it got home?
A: It had a hard drive!
Q: Where do pencils go for vacation?
A: Pencil-vania!
Q: Why can’t you trust atoms?
A: They make up everything!
Q: Why did the thief wear blue gloves?
A: He didn’t want to get caught red-handed!
Q: Why do they call it the Dark Ages?
A: Because there were so many knights!
Q: What’s orange and can’t swim?
A: A parking cone!
Q: Why was the music teacher so good at baseball?
A: She had perfect pitch!
Q: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backward?
A: A receding hare line!
Q: Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: He was stuck at C!
Q: What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A: A vigil-ANT-ee!
Q: Why did the scientist bring a ladder?
A: She wanted to reach new heights!
Q: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
A: They have lots of spirit!
Q: Why was the geometry book so adorable?
A: It had acute angles!
Q: What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account?
A: Prime mates!
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!
Q: What do you call an underwater spy?
A: James Pond!
Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A: It gets toad away!
Q: What do you call a vampire’s car?
A: A blood vessel!
Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: Someone left its Windows open!
Q: Why was the math teacher late to work?
A: She took the rhombus!
Q: What did the calculator say to the student?
A: "You can count on me!"
Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match!
Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
A: He wanted to catch up on his sleep!
Q: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
A: Because they’re so good at it!
Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: He knew a shortcut!
Q: What do you call a group of disorganized cats?
A: A cat-astrophe!
Q: Why was the student’s report card wet?
A: It was below C level!
Q: How do you cut the ocean in half?
A: With a sea-saw!
Q: Why did the mushroom go to the party?
A: Because he was a fungi!
Q: What do you call an alligator detective?
A: An investi-gator!
Q: Why did the newspaper talk to the ice cream?
A: It wanted the scoop!
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he Neverlands!
Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?
A: Your head hits the ceiling!
Q: What do you call a robot that always takes the longest route?
A: R2 Detour!
Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can’t tuna fish!
Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm!
Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
A: Sneakers!
Q: What do you call a bear who gets caught in the rain?
A: A drizzly bear!
Q: Why was the zombie tired?
A: He was dead on his feet!
Q: Why are pirates great singers?
A: They can hit the high Cs!
Q: What did the magician say to the fisherman?
A: "Pick a cod, any cod!"
Q: Why was the tomato red?
A: It saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why is 2 + 2 = 5 like your left foot?
A: Because it’s not right!
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: "Don’t look! I’m about to change!"